Roland’s Holiday Party Rules 2011 – Season’s Greetings …

Are ya ready for Roland’s Holiday Party Rules?! #rolandsrules

If you can’t stand your boss, just don’t even show up. ‘Cause when that liquor is talking, there will be no job left! #rolandsrules

That might be a mistletoe above the door, but if I cross that devil of a woman I work with, she’ll get cussed out instead of kissed! #rolandsrules

If you have to buy a gift for your boss, just get em some hand lotion and an office deodorizer. They’ll really know how you feel! #rolandsrules

If there is karaoke at the office Christmas party, just carjack me on my way over. That will be way more fun! #rolandsrules

If the Christmas party DJ has the Harlem Shuffle and not the Wobble, you know it’s going to be a long night! #rolandsrules

If anyone talks about the job at the office Christmas party, call security. They should be evicted immediately! #rolandsrules

You really don’t need to invite your spouse to the office Christmas party. Don’t let them get friendly with folks you can’t stand! #rolandsrules

If it’s a potluck office Christmas party, eat before you arrive. That dude in the mailroom might really be a serial killer. #rolandsrules

If your boss makes you pay for valet parking at the office Christmas party, he/she is a cheap azz! #rolandsrules

If you get that dirty dancing feeling with the wife of ya boss at the office Christmas party, don’t be shocked if u get downsized #rolandsrules

If no one says grace before eating at the office Christmas party, don’t get mad. You work for a bunch of atheists! #rolandsrules

If someone hires a stripper for the office Christmas party, you either work at Playboy or for one of the Real Housewives of Atlanta #rolandsrules

If Santa is white at every office Christmas party, your company don’t give a damn about diversity! #rolandsrules

‎”Yes, honey, the office Christmas party is at 7 pm & the movie starts at 8. We’ll get there in time for great seats & popcorn” #rolandsrules

If the IT department is put in charge of this year’s office Christmas party, expect the geekiest event you’ve ever attended! #rolandsrules

If your office Christmas party IS BYOB – bring your own bottle – ain’t nobody else getting a taste of my good liquor! #rolandsrules

If Hennessy isn’t being served at the office Christmas party, NONE of your Black co-workers will show up. Trust me on this one #rolandsrules

Do not pass your business card out at the office Christmas party. We already know who you work for! #rolandsrules

If there is a smoking section at the office party, & you pull a blunt out, & your boss joins you for a hit, NEVER leave that job! #rolandsrules

That’s it for the Office Christmas Party edition of #RolandsRules. Look for the book in 2012!