Comedians Chris Spancer, Sinbad and Buddy Lewis joined Roland Martin on Washington Watch for the second part of the Hollywood Edition’s comedians panel.
MR. MARTIN: We’re back with our comedians panel. Folks, we’ve got Chris Spencer, Sinbad and Buddy Lewis.
Let me ask you this. We’re obvious- — obviously involved in a political season. You’ve got Republican candidates running. You[’ve] got Mitt Romney, Rick Santorum, Ron Paul and Newt Gingrich.
SINBAD: Hold on. Wait –
MR. MARTIN: What do you make –
SINBAD: — I’m waiting for Jeremy Lin to come out that group.
[LAUGHTER.]
SINBAD: There’s a – there’s another Republican somewhere. That can’t –
[CROSSTALK.]
SINBAD: — be it. That is not the team.
[CROSSTALK.]
SINBAD: They got one more they holdin’ back.
MR. MARTIN: I – I keep saying Newt Gingrich is like Chucky, the – the – the horror character –
OFF CAMERA: First of all –
MR. MARTIN: — ’cause he goes crazy.
SINBAD: Dude!
MR. BUDDY LEWIS: His head’s too big. That’s the problem.
MR. MARTIN: [Chuckles.]
MR. SPENCER: Are you gon’ wear that hat the whole –
MR. LEWIS: Yeah –
MR. SPENCER: — show?
MR. LEWIS: — I’m gon’ wear it the whole show.
MR. SPENCER: Okay. I just wanted to make sure. [Chuckles.]
MR. LEWIS: Hi- — hi- — his head’s too big, and that’s why his thoughts come out crazy – ’cause they’re bouncin’ all off the sides –
MR. MARTIN: [Chuckles.]
MR. LEWIS: — of that big-ass head, and they – you know, they – [crosstalk] –
SINBAD: I’m j- — I’m just sayin’ this. I’m so glad they all runnin’. I know Barack like this, “[Chuckles.] We gonna[?] raise some money.”
MR. SPENCER: [Claps.] Already[?] have money!
SINBAD: “Man, we” – [chuckles] – “start[?] the fundraising. I can’t wait ‘til debate season.”
[CHUCKLING.]
MR. MARTIN: Since – since we – since we were – Bully [sic – phonetic] – Buddy, you were here last year.
MR. LEWIS: Yeah.
MR. MARTIN: A lot of things have happened this year. The President gave the order to take out Osama bin Laden. So, when you hear Republicans say he’s a weak president –
OFF CAMERA: Oh, they ought to shut up.
SINBAD: Not just that. ’Member they got the cat – the Somalian [sic] bruthas? He just –
MR. MARTIN: Yeah, the pirates.
SINBAD: — picked up – he did this. [Winks, chuckles.] He did this – [unintelligible].
MR. MARTIN: [Laughs.]
[LAUGHTER.]
SINBAD: [Unintelligible.] “I told you to stay inside!”
[LAUGHTER.]
SINBAD: See, Barack one of them bruthas – Barack O- — Pres. Obama is one of them bru- — you know them slim bruthas that – but they ahead of the game?
OFF CAMERA: Right.
OFF CAMERA: Wiry.
OFF CAMERA: Yeah.
SINBAD: “Man, I ain’t scared of him.”
OFF CAMERA: What’d you say?
[CHUCKLING.]
SINBAD: He’s like when my man, uh, uh, uh, was fightin’ – tryin’ to fight Elliot Ness, when Capone had the baseball bat –
OFF CAMERA: Right.
SINBAD: — in the scene in the movie –
OFF CAMERA: Yeah.
SINBAD: — and he was talkin’ ’bout baseball’s too – [unintelligible]. And then he beat the dude in the head with the bat –
MR. MARTIN: Right.
SINBAD: — and they’re all like this. [Stares.]
MR. MARTIN: Enthusiasm.
SINBAD: Yeah, they don’t realize –
MR. MARTIN: Enthusiasm.
SINBAD: — that man can – in Chicago.
OFF CAMERA: Right.
SINBAD: He was a brutha at Harvard tryin’ to find himse- — ’member he went through a lot –
MR. SPENCER: Yeah.
SINBAD: — in his life.
See, did y’all read the book?”
MR. MARTIN: So, you don’t trust really quiet guys.
SINBAD: No, no. I – I – I know what a quiet guy is. I know that’s the brutha that probably like this. “Ma-” – “Man” – you’re the brutha like this, “Man, get out my way!”
“I think you gon’ have to move me.”
[THE GROUP CRACKS UP.]
SINBAD: ’Member Bruce Lee never talked loud in a movie. [Yells.] “I’ll kill ya!” Bruce like this – [speaks in an even tone] – “Boys, don’t hit back.”
That’s all he said.
OFF CAMERA: Right. Um-hum.
OFF CAMERA: Now, Barack is[?] – [crosstalk].
SINBAD: Yes.
MR. SPENCER: He’s the dude that goes, “All right, man. I’m sorry.”
SINBAD: Yeah, “I’m sorry, man.”
MR. SPENCER: And touch you like this and go –
SINBAD: Yeah, uh-huh.
MR. SPENCER: — later, you go, “Am I bleeding?”
SINBAD: Yeah!
[CHUCKLING.]
SINBAD: Exactly.
MR. SPENCER: [Holds the side of his neck.] “Where” – “Where’d he go? What – [unintelligible]” – and he just walked off.
SINBAD: And he was cool: “I said that we would get ’im.”
MR. MARTIN: Now – now, I got – and I gotta ask this to Buddy.
Buddy, what do you make of Speaker John Boehner always cryin’?
MR. LEWIS: Man, well, see, when you’re a crybaby, that’s what crybabies do – ’cause he’s realizin’ every time he says somethin’, i- — it’s just – it’s just a – it’s a pain, ’cause he knows he can’t win. See, Barack is – [crosstalk] –
SINBAD: But he –
MR. LEWIS: — he don’t wanna –
SINBAD: — don’t wanna cry.
MR. LEWIS: — he don’t wanna – he don’t –
SINBAD: He don’t wanna –
MR. LEWIS: — wanna cry.
SINBAD: — cry.
MR. LEWIS: He don’t wanna cry. He wa- — he wants to –
MR. MARTIN: But every time – he cries on everything.
OFF CAMERA: Dude.
SINBAD: He has allergies.
[LAUGHTER.]
MR. LEWIS: That’s what he’s gon’ say.
SINBAD: [His voice breaks as if starting to tear up.] He’s allergic to bruthas. [Chuckles.]
[LAUGHTER.]
MR. SPENCER: [Laughs, claps.]
OFF CAMERA: “Bruthas make me itch.”
[CHUCKLING.]
MR. MARTIN: Bu- — bu- — but he got a deep tan, though.
OFF CAMERA: Oh, yes.
MR. MARTIN: He’s almo- — he’s orange.
OFF CAMERA: He’s in denial.
MR. LEWIS: It’s Oompa Loompa orange.
SINBAD: Yes.
MR. MARTIN: [Chuckles.]
SINBAD: He in denial.
MR. LEWIS: Yeah.
SINBAD: Go back in that woodpile.
MR. SPENCER: But soon as he pulls down his pants, he realizes he’s not Black.
[THE GROUP CRACKS UP AGAIN.]
OFF CAMERA: Every time.
MR. SPENCER: “Oh! I was doin’ good!”
MR. MARTIN: [Chuckles, his head in his hand.]
MR. LEWIS: [Unintelligible] – not –
[CROSSTALK.]
OFF CAMERA: [Crosstalk] – doin’ good ’til I – [crosstalk] –
MR. LEWIS: [Chuckles.]
SINBAD: [Crosstalk] – I love people that cry. Like, you know, I hope he keep cryin’. He just put – you know, you put yourself out the game. I look at – [unintelligible] – “You out the game.” Soon as he cry the first time, “You out the game.” “You out the game.”
MR. SPENCER: Shouldn’t be –
MR. MARTIN: Now – n- —
MR. SPENCER: — no cryin’ in politics.
MR. MARTIN: — now I gotta ask you this. We’re – here we are. We’re in Los Angeles; and, of course, you have Congresswoman Maxine Waters.
OFF CAMERA: Yes.
MR. MARTIN: And when the CBC was going on with their jobs tour, I mean she was swingin’ hard on so- — on the policies of the President. And I kept tryin’ to warn people –
OFF CAMERA: Yes.
MR. MARTIN: — “You do not mess with a 70-plus-year-old Black woman, because –
OFF CAMERA: No.
MR. MARTIN: — they will say whatever –
OFF CAMERA: Yes –
MR. MARTIN: — they want to say.
OFF CAMERA: — absolutely.
MR. LEWIS: Exactly.
MR. MARTIN: I think –
MR. SPENCER: And no – and don’t –
MR. MARTIN: — Congresswoman –
MR. SPENCER: — apologize.
MR. MARTIN: — Waters likes to fight.
SINBAD: No, she – she hopes – and she’s so smart. See, I been ’round when she was – this sister has been in the fight since I came to L.A., when I came in ’85.
MR. MARTIN: Right.
SINBAD: I was involved in anything she did. She knew her stuff. She could help me with things.
You know, even, like, Jesse J- — I’d say, no. Jesse’s – probably has more information. Maxine – they got more inf- — you know you say something? “Oh, yeah. I want you to call Bishop So-and-so.”
I’m like this. I know four people.
[LAUGHTER.]
SINBAD: And I gotta look ’em up in my phone.
MR. MARTIN: [Chuckles.]
OFF CAMERA: Um-hum.
SINBAD: They start recallin’ facts – [snaps his fingers] – like this.
OFF CAMERA: Right.
SINBAD: I said – and we need people like that. We need – we need the next generation like that. See, Maxine Waters – who’s our 25-year-old Maxine Waters?
MR. MARTIN: I – I –
SINBAD: Who –
MR. MARTIN: — I’d think probably at 25, she was fighting the same way –
OFF CAMERA: She –
MR. MARTIN: — seriously.
OFF CAMERA: No! She was!
MR. MARTIN: ’Cause she will swing on anybody.
SINBAD: She was!
MR. LEWIS: And – and I think she probably still has Vaseline in her purse.
MR. MARTIN: [Chuckles.] You think –
MR. LEWIS: It’s – it’s –
MR. MARTIN: — she’ll crack it out?
MR. LEWIS: — comin’ out. She’ll crack it out. When it gets to crackin’ – [speaks in falsetto] – “Hold on. Wait a second.” [Pantomimes smearing it on her face.] “I’ll tell y’all what. I’m from” –
SINBAD: No, she does this.
MR. LEWIS: — “Watts, and I” –
SINBAD: She doe- — she does that lean back. [He draws back in his seat.] When they say somethin’ wrong to her, I say, “Oh, here it come,” ’cause she leans back.
MR. SPENCER: Right.
SINBAD: That’s just to get composure so the other side don’t come out.
MR. MARTIN: Or, is it she reachin’ under the table for somethin’ –
SINBAD: Yeah, see, that lean –
MR. MARTIN: — and then lean back?
SINBAD: — back is like, “I been to college.” See –
[LAUGHTER.]
SINBAD: — when you ain’t been to college, you just thump.
OFF CAMERA: Right.
SINBAD: When you been to college – [chuckles] – you need to take a breath. “[Chuckles.] Let me say this”
[CHUCKLING.]
SINBAD: You say – “[unintelligible] – the other” — “I almost said the other thing.”
MR. MARTIN: [Chuckles.]
SINBAD: It’s like – it’s like Rick Santorum. He’s gon’ be the first one to use the n-word. It’s gon’ come out.
MR. SPENCER: It’s gon’ come out.
SINBAD: He gon’ be like this. “These n-” – “-no!”
MR. MARTIN: [Chuckles.]
SINBAD: And Republicans – [reaches above his head and claps].
MR. MARTIN: [Crosstalk] – well, he already said, you know –
MR. LEWIS: “Blu-” –
MR. MARTIN: — “Black people” –
SINBAD: Yes.
OFF CAMERA: Yes.
MR. MARTIN: — and then he said he went – meant, “Blah people” –
OFF CAMERA: Yes, he said “blah people.”
MR. MARTIN: — which I’m st- — which – I’m sorry. I – I didn’t hear “blah.” I –
SINBAD: And Sarah Palin says “real America” means where us and Spanish – nobody else live. She keeps sayin’ “the real America.” Remember Joe Biden said, “Where is this ‘real America’?” Iowa, at that camp.
MR. MARTIN: [Chuckles.]
SINBAD: ’Member that – where the – where the – where the cop went?
MR. MARTIN: Right.
SINBAD: With – durin’ the O.J. trial?
MR. MARTIN: Right.
OFF CAMERA: Um-hum.
SINBAD: He w- — he – he would go to that camp, and all these police officers lived there.
OFF CAMERA: Yeah.
SINBAD: And there were no Black and no Spanish.
MR. SPENCER: It was like Cop Land – [crosstalk] –
SINBAD: Yeah, it was Cop Land. So –
[CHUCKLING.]
SINBAD: — they said –
[LAUGHTER.]
SINBAD: — so, they said – when they said – [crosstalk] – “the real America” – they keep tryin’ to say code word[s] –
OFF CAMERA: Right.
SINBAD: — “In real America – where they ain’t at – this is what we’re lookin’ for.”
But we find “real America.” We keep finding neighborhoods – [chuckles] – “real America” gets smaller and smaller –
OFF CAMERA: Absolutely.
SINBAD: — ’cause once we find it – “Oh, there it is!” – we come in.
MR. SPENCER: Every- —
SINBAD: We move in.
MR. SPENCER: — everywhere you go.
I remember one time –
SINBAD: Yes.
MR. SPENCER: — I was in Alaska, doin’ a show. We’re drivin’, and there – there’s Black people everywhere.
SINBAD: Yes.
MR. SPENCER: But I’m –
SINBAD: Yes.
[CROSSTALK.]
MR. SPENCER: — drivin’. I looked wa-a-ay into the ocean. A brutha got outta the boat. “Whassup?”
[LAUGHTER.]
MR. SPENCER: I was like – [puts his fist in front of his mouth in mock astonishment].
[LAUGHTER, CROSSTALK.]
MR. SPENCER: A[n] igloo Crip? Es- —
MR. MARTIN: An igloo Crip?
MR. SPENCER: — “They got Eskimo gangstas out here?”
“Whut up?” [Chuckles.]
[CHUCKLING.]
SINBAD: Well, you know, Anchorage is like – like Seattle.
OFF CAMERA: Yes.
SINBAD: Anchorage is like –
MR. SPENCER: Yeah.
SINBAD: — Seattle.
MR. MARTIN: Well, it’s people who got kicked outta Seattle.
SINBAD: That’s right. Or, if you kill people, you go to Alaska.
[CHUCKLING.]
SINBAD: And you fit.
MR. SPENCER: Right, exactly.
SINBAD: You just get on a little hoodie. You walk in your boots.
[CHUCKLING.]
SINBAD: And nobody ask you a question. “Whassup?”
“Just got here last week.”
MR. SPENCER: [Laughs, claps.]
[CHUCKLING.]
SINBAD: So –
MR. SPENCER: It’s understood.
SINBAD: — it’s understood. “I will kill people.”
[CHUCKLING.]
SINBAD: Tryin’ to get a new life.
MR. MARTIN: Look. Y’all have absolutely no sense. We’re ou- — absolutely out of time.
OFF CAMERA: No! Wait a second!
MR. LEWIS: We can’t be!
MR. MARTIN: We – we are, Buddy.
MR. LEWIS: Man, you do- —
MR. MARTIN: You should- —
MR. LEWIS: — I’m gon’ join the President’s team – [crosstalk] –
SINBAD: I sure wish –
MR. LEWIS: — I’m gonna join the President’s team, ’cause the next time somebody point they finger in my fa- — in his face, I’m gon’ – [pantomimes fighting] –
SINBAD: No, we not allowin’ – [crosstalk] –
MR. MARTIN: — see? Tha- — tha- — that – that’s –
SINBAD: — [crosstalk] – no.
MR. MARTIN: — that’s why there’re –
SINBAD: But we’re not allowin’ –
MR. MARTIN: — no Omegas on the –
SINBAD: — this year – this year –
MR. MARTIN: — campaign team.
SINBAD: — ain’t gon’ be no more comin’ to town hall meetin’s. I’m like – I’m serious. All of us, as brothers and sisters – anybody who’s supportin’ Barack Obama, ain’t gon’ be any more comin’, insultin’ no more. Last time, we let ’em do that to us.
OFF CAMERA: Yeah, right.
SINBAD: You know, Republicans – and – and got all ignorant with it, like showin’ up with their guns. In Arizona, we should show up with our guns. They ain’t registered.
MR. MARTIN: [Chuckles.]
[CHUCKLES.]
SINBAD: And they had a – they had ’em on their shoulders. We should do this. [Pantomimes lifting his shirt to expose his waistband and gives the camera a ride-or-die look.]
[LAUGHTER.]
SINBAD: “We here, too.”
[LAUGHTER, CROSSTALK.]
OFF CAMERA: Times change.
SINBAD: That’s it. Times change.
MR. MARTIN: Times – okay. Gotcha.
OFF CAMERA: Times change.
MR. MARTIN: Do not listen to Sinbad on that one.
All right. Chris, Sinbad – [chuckles] – Buddy, we certainly appreciate it.
[MR. LEWIS TAKES OUT AN OMEGA PSI PURPLE SCARF AND DRAPES IT AROUND HIS NECK.]
MR. MARTIN: But – but that’s just pathetic – all that. Please. Please. Do- —
MR. LEWIS: [Crosstalk] – that’s –
MR. MARTIN: — don’t even get –
MR. LEWIS: — a[n] ascot.
MR. MARTIN: — don’t even get a shot of that hat. That’s embarrassing.
[LAUGHTER.]
SINBAD: Here’s my – here’s my fraternity –
MR. LEWIS: [Laughs.]
MR. MARTIN: That’s it for this edition –
[CROSSTALK.]
MR. MARTIN: — of TV One’s “Washington Watch” from Hollywood.
[CROSSTALK.]
SINBAD: My fraternity –
MR. MARTIN: I’m Roland –
[THE CAMERA CUTS TO SINBAD, WHO HAS WRAPPED A LEOPARD-PRINT SCARF AROUND HIS HEAD.]
MR. MARTIN: — Martin. Have a blessed week.
[CROSSTALK.]
MR. MARTIN: That’s exactly what it is!
[CHUCKLING.]
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